Why is everyone so cruel to this much loved instrument - the banjo of course-
Don't you know that most of the worlds worst conflicts ( American Civil War for example) were fought over the right to make & play the banjo.
The banjo is a much maligned instrument, unlike the melodeon which is the last refuge of the musically incompetent.
As for Marmite - I hate the stuff, but it can be used as an adhesive to stick floor tiles down.

Leave of the banjo and pick on something (or someone)your own size