The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #19694 Message #1059686
Posted By: Jim Dixon
23-Nov-03 - 11:28 PM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
Subject: Lyr Add: ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT? (Homer & Jethro
Here's the complete Homer & Jethro version. There's a long section of spoken dialogue in the middle. I transcribed it from a sound file at http://www.geocities.com/u2page5/
ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT?
(As recorded by Homer & Jethro, 1961)
Are you lonesome tonight? If you are, serves you right.
I'm so happy you left me at last.
I can still hear you roar: "Make the beds. Mop the floor.
Do the laundry and then mow the grass."
You took me for a boat ride. I had to swim back.
Darling, I thought I'd never get out of that sack.
Should you fly back again, park your broom and come in.
Darling, that's why you're lonesome tonight.
SPOKEN:
JETHRO: Shortspeare once said, "All the world's a stage." It ain't much of a line, but if it's good enough for Elvis, it's good enough for us. Act One.
FEMALE VOICE: You took me home to meet your folks, and I can still hear your father whispering, "Son, that gal's cross-eyed, knock-kneed, strange-headed, buck-toothed..." and all you said was...
HOMER: Oh, paw, you don't have to whisper. She's deaf, too.
J: Act Two.
F: Our engagement lasted ten years 'cause I wouldn't marry you when you was drunk.
H: Yeah, an' I wouldn't marry you when I was sober.
J: Act Three.
F: Only romantic thing you ever said to me was that I creeped into your heart, an' I creeped into your brain, creeped into your mind...
H: No, all I ever said was that you was the biggest creep I'd ever seen.
J: Act Four.
F: We finally settled down in our little honeymoon cottage an' ever' Friday night, our friends an' neighbors would come over to watch the fight.
H: Yeah, we didn't even have a TV set, but we had a fight ever' Friday. One night I blacked your eyes, broke your nose, an' knocked your teeth out an' you got chicken an' called the cops.
F: You told 'em not to believe a word I said 'cause I's punch-drunk.
So I'll miss you, my pet,
Every chance that I get.
Darling, that's why you're lonesome tonight.
(But I won't be fer long.)