4.    Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition
territory, claim it as their own "Las In-Goals-Areas" and then be forcibly
removed by the match stewards.

5.    Two members of the South African team will claim to be more
important than the other 13 whom they will imprison between the posts whilst
they claim the rest of the pitch for themselves.

6.    The Americans will not attend until almost full time. In future
years they will amend the records to show that they were in fact the most
important team in the tournament, won it single handedly and Hollywood will
make a film called 'Saving No.8 Lyle'.

7.    Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marseillaise and hold the
rest of the team to ransom.

8.    The Italian team will arrive in Armani gear, s£xually harass the
female stewards and then run away.