Foolestruope - What about if the lady's shy or was brought up to believe that a woman doesn't make the first move? How do you recognise 'subtle interest'? I know what you mean though - there almost seems to be an expectation that any friendship between a man and a woman has to be cemented as early as possible with sex. WHY? Can't adults get the idea of moving through friendship to something more?

LH - I agree with you about the exclusivity - my ex wanted that and in the nineteen years that we were together I can count the friends we made on the fingers of one hand. We very rarely got involved in anything with other people - we were this tight little unit. Since splitting up I've made a number of good friends, got involved in the music and in some voluntary work and made a life for myself. Any future involvement would have to have at least the music in common.