Oh, David,
I'm so sorry to welcome you to this New Planet. Read through this whole thread if you can (I printed it out, but I must warn you that it's over 50 pages long!). I have PMd you and hope you'll take me up on my offer to talk.

WYSYWYG is right; it isn't getting easier in this "season-to-be-jolly". The black pit opens up unexpectedly in all kinds of ways and places. David, when it happens, try to picture all the candles burning for you and your wife. Come here when you can, tell us stories about her, or just come here to rant. We love you.

Allison