I am a most virtuous bloke.
I do not drink, swear chew or smoke.
All vices eschewing,
I stick to my screwing;
And sometimes, on Sundays, snort coke.

A nude wooed a prude in Bermuda
He was nude, she was shrewd, he was shrewder.
She said, "It is lewd,
To be wooed in the nude"
But he wooed her, pursued her, and screwed her.

The inbred sixth Viscount of Hume
Kept, always, a boy in his room;
And would take, as his right,
On each serf's wedding night,
His Droit du Signeur, from the groom.

P.