Liz & Kat - stop hogging those barrels and let me see what real ale we've got on this year.

This looks interesting, we seem to have Jockstrap's "Santa's Old Bollocks" (7.3% abv) and "Full Frontal Lobotomy" (8.8% abv) from the Nissed Pewt Brewery company. Well there's no point in drinking the weak stuff, so I'll fill my quart tankard with the FFL.

What's that funny smell ? - oh Liz, are drinking the Jockstrap's ? - someone should have warned you about the flatulence problem with their beers. According to the CAMRA magazine, the brewery chairman is a great supporter of alternative energy sources and developed his ales accordingly. All the brewery vehicles (including the directors' Rolls Royces) are methane powered. Can anyone find an suitable "No Naked Lights" sign to stick on the LtS derriere ?