Alice,

The secretary parody is one of my own.

Come listen, young ladies so fair and so fine,
And seek not your fortune in the clerical line.
It will darken your soul; it will soften your mind.
It's a lifetime of boredom in the clerical line.

Where the pressure is double, the raises are few,
And whenever there's trouble, the blame falls on you,
Where the fluorescents hum, and the Laser Jets whine,
It's a lifetime of boredom in the clerical line.

I got the rest of the verses somewhere (sorry, forgot to take my ginkgo this morning) I'll dig 'em up if'n you want em. Like most songs I do myself, I keep changing the lyrics so much I forget how the dang thing goes.