Oops, that was supposed to be

Eddie, dear Eddie, come home to us now;
Your dear friend Katlaughing is haffing a cow.
And Patsclaw and Rickster and Roger the Zim
And Mickster the Monster are ready to trim
Your nose hairs with tweezers or needle nose pliers,
And send you to sizzle in Golgotha's fires.
You've turned our friend Kat to an object of mirth;
She's dodgin' and duckin', regretting her birth.
So get here by Friday if you're really livin'--
And I swear if you make it, well, all is forgiven.

--seed