THE DAY WE WENT TO BLACKPOOL

Didn't we have a miserable time the day we went to Blackpool?
An 'orrible day! We got drunk on the way and spent our money on chips and bingo.
Hour after hour, we sat in a bar and we drank a barrel of cider.
On the way back, I was sick over Jack and the rain came down.

Oh, do you recollect the havoc we wrecked as we vandalised the seafront?
Sydney the punk he lost a chunk of his head when he nutted a parking meter.
I'll never forget all the fish that we ate as we staggered round the fairground.
We distributed ale from the big Ferris wheel and the rain came down.

Oh, do you recall the thrill of it all as we organised a gangbang?
Under the pier a bottle of beer and an inflatable doll called Vinyl Vera.
It ruptured the two at the front of the queue and then it came to my turn.
I couldn't begin 'cause the tide had come in and the rain came down.

Well, Eric and Sid they said for a quid they'd climb the Blackpool Tower.
Newcastle Brown made Eric fall down so we carried him into a Wimpy Bar.
Sidney threw up right into his cup and we had to call the waiter.
Eric was ill all over his bill and the rain came down.

Well, Eric and me we wanted a pee so we climbed up on the bandstand.
Recycled booze all over our shoes and some all over the band as well.
We got in a car. We didn't get far 'cause the policeman waved us down.
Well, we must've been out of our brains 'cause we came down by train and the rain came down.

Well, didn't we have a miserable time the day we went to Blackpool?
An 'orrible day! We got drunk on the way and spent our money in magistrate's fines.
We stood in the dock till at least three o'clock and the jury found us guilty.
We were charged two and six 'cause the judge was all pissed and the rain came down.