LITTLE I first thought about posting this Bogle song when I read the first verse of 'Ten little Possums'. To fully appreciate the song you are supposed to know the relative sizes of the mentioned dog races. Bogle writes about this song "Written mainly to show that I can also be nasty about dogs". It is a kind of follow-up to 'Nobody's Moggy Now' (see DT if you don't know it), the song he's commenting with the words 'Any dead cat is a friend of mine' which reminds me of the old saying 'Only a flat cat is a good cat'. Sorry, sorry, sorry (to Big Mick, cat lovers, and dog lovers). The song is taken from an Eric Bogle songbook with a couple of typos mended.

LITTLE GOMEZ
(Eric Bogle)

Well, I used to have a doggie and I called him 'Little Gomez'
'Cause you see, he was a Mexican Chihuahua.
There wasn't much of him, but what there was, was all cojones,
He really was a randy little fella.
Big dogs, small dogs, it mattered not to him,
The canine equivalent to Errol Flynn.
At the drop of a sombrero he'd jump up and get stuck in,
Taking Gomez out for walkies was embarrassing. (Repeat last line in each verse.)

I remember one day in the park, his tally rose by four,
An enviable score he was amassing,
Two rather pleased and patient Poodles and an outraged Labrador
And a Wombat* who just happened to be passing.
I tried a hundred ways to curb his carnal appetite,
Kept him on a lead on day, locked him up at night.
I even put some bromide in his chunky meaty-bites!
But the only thing that might have worked was Kryptonite.

Then came the fateful morning when he tried to consummate
A liaison with a St. Bernard called Blodwyn.
And even though he was quite clearly fighting well above his weight
He didn't let that minor detail stop him.
He nearly pulled it off, oh, what an acrobat,
But Blodwyn got bored and down she sat.
They say that after making love you often feel quite flat,
I'm sure that Little Gomez would agree with that.

So I buried Gomez in the park, his happy hunting ground,
A sad but fitting finale.
I had to dig a grave that was rather long and round,
'Cause he looked like a squashed tamale.
But I really missed my wee Chihuahua chum,
So I went down to the pet shop to buy another one,
I went in feeling happy, but I came out feeling glum,
Because the man down at the pet shop loved corny puns!

CODA: And he said:
Yes, we have no Chihuahuas,
We have no Chihuahuas today.
We've Alsatians, Dalmatians,
And the fruits of a flirtation
Between a half-blind Pekinese and a toupee.
But yes, we have no Chihuahuas,
We have no Chihuahuas today.

* Wombat: if you really have never heard yet about that dog race, ask our Australians about it, they'll be glad to tell you. And if you really want to please them, ask them in the same post what kind of bear is a Koala bear.

Wolfgang