It's easy. Don't eat junk food. Never marry or have kids. Avoid a job that requires wearing a tie or a 3 piece suit. Turn your TV into a fish tank. Walk instead of driving if the destination is 3 blocks or less away. Avoid enlisting in a small town rural police force that wears tight pants and jack boots. Never call yourself "Bubba". NEVER use the drive-through at a bank, restaurant, etc. Eat moderately and make sure to eat raw vegetables a fair bit. Exercise a lot. Move to Cuba, and just watch how the locals do it...fat people are rather rare there, but most people are in good shape. A hot climate can help. Drink lots of water, and sweat it out. Discharge bottled-up emotions. Think thin thoughts (this last may be the most crucial of all).

- LH