The original of this is already in DT: COLD, COLD HEART, written and recorded by Hank Williams; also recorded by Louis Armstrong, Tony Bennett, Johnny Cash, Connie Francis, George Jones, Jerry Lee Lewis, Ray Price, The Sons of the Pioneers, Ernest Tubb, Dinah Washington, and many others -- and recently by Norah Jones.

And now the parody, transcribed from the sound file at http://www.geocities.com/u2page5/ :

COLD, COLD HEART NO. 2
(As sung by Homer & Jethro)

I tried so hard, my dear, to show that you're my ev'ry dream.
Yet ev'ry time I see your face, it makes me want to scream.
You look much better to me, dear, the farther we're apart.
Your liver may be warm but you have got a cold, cold heart.

You'll never know how much it hurts to see you sit and cry,
But you could cry much better if you had another eye.
One look at you and I am through. It makes my eyeballs smart.
I wish that you'd fall off your broom and break your cold, cold heart.

HOMER (spoken): 'Samatter, Jethro? You got cold fingers? Get hot, boy, get hot.

There was a time one look at you could make my pore heart sing.
Now ever' time I look at you, I think I've found The Thing.
When I see you walk in the room, it makes the teardrops start.
Why don't you go sit on a stove and melt your cold, cold heart?

[Recorded by Homer & Jethro on "The Humorous Side of Country Music," 1963; "Ooh, That's Corny," 1963; "The Best of Homer & Jethro," 1966 and 1996; and "Country Comedy," 1971.]