Dere Mz.Rutlegge,
I am pleezed to see thet you habv foun a man who would habv you at last. Its too bad thet you are missing yore monthly cycle and need to get yoreself nuptuated and I reckon yore daddy an hiz shotgun will be big playrs in the wedding party. I wish yore skankass all the happiness you ken find or gleen from the pore man whoom you habv trapped in this way and hope he recovers from whateber you poisoned hiz mind wif to get you in yore present delicas condiment.

Pees be on you durin' this festive seeson and I cinceerly hope thet you see fit to invite me to yore big wedding swarray az I hab much to confibulate and will do all in my powerz to make it memberable.
Yerz,
Tweed
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