Tweed, I am really quite sorry to hear that you are still at large. I had hoped that some beneficent divine intervention would have occurred by now to take you off our streets, such as your being run over by a large road-grading machine or perhaps devoured by an escaped pack of Rottweilers.

I gather that you are still annoying decent people everywhere and giving drunks in alleyways someone to feel smugly superior to? Pity!

May I return your good wishes with a few of my own, and suggest that you consider taking up a more worthy lifestyle as soon as possible. There are schools out there, Tweed, who will take practically anyone and teach them the rudiments of a decent trade. You could become a plumber, and learn how to stop up holes....then take a large plug and a strong monkey wrench...and shut your mouth!

If you have the temerity to show up at any future wedding of mine I shall have you thrown out bodily.

And there is nothing wrong with my cycles!

*PR