- Ms Rutledge Wallops Miss Sherbrooke!!! Town Aghast!!! -

Patrons at fashionable Freddy's Cafe were shocked this afternoon when a screaming fistfight erupted between Ms Penelope Rutledge, 25, and Miss Connie Sherbrooke, 23. Ms Rutledge was seen to march into the cafe at around 2 pm, while Miss Sherbrooke and two other ladies, Miss Finch and Miss Ponsonby were having tea.

"She looked like a woman on a mission," remarked Morty Watson, a waiter at Freddy's. "She was clearly out for blood, if you ask me. Here's what I saw. She walked straight up to Miss Sherbrooke's table, where the girls were chatting and laughing about something, puts her hands on her hips like this (demonstrating)...and says, ""Miss 'Q', I presume?"", glaring right at Miss Connie Sherbrooke. ""What did you say?"" replies Miss Sherbrooke. ""You know exactly what I said, you lying, treacherous, gossip-mongering little snitch!"" snaps Miss Rutledge. ""Stand up!!!"" ...and the whole place goes silent.

"Well, Miss Sherbrooke she gets right up out of her seat and BOOM! Ms Penelope whacks her and they start fighting right in the middle of the cafe. I've never seen the like of it. Everyone was sort of paralyzed."

"So, the upshot of it was, Ms Rutledge landed a wicked combination of rights and lefts....smack! smack!....Oh, I'm glad it wasn't me on the receiving end...and Miss Connie lands flat on her back on the floor and decides to just stay there for a bit, which in my opinion was a wise decision. She looked pretty stunned."

"Ms Rutledge then dusts off her hands, says ""Put that in Pruella's bloody gossip column, you little spy!"" and storms out of the place. It was all over in a few seconds, seemed like."

"Miss Connie was very upset, understandably, and left the Cafe immediately afterward, accompanied by her friends. I am given to understand that Ms Rutledge went straight to the police station and turned herself in, or something like that."

"I am in deep shock. I never thought I'd see anything like this happen at Freddy's. Our customers are normally very well behaved, and Ms Rutledge has dined here on numerous occasions without incident."

The Twillingsgate Herald has determined that Ms Rutledge did indeed turn herself in to the Twillingsgate Constabulary, and admits freely to have struck the first blow. She has been released on probation, according to Constable Forthright, and will not be required to post bail.

We will follow up with further details as soon as we have them.

- Clarence Farrell, Twillingsgate Herald, Special Edition