Well, if television commercials are to be believed (hey, they wouldn't lie to us, would they?), all the adventure and excitement of Lord of the Rings: Return of the King can now be found at KFC.

Maybe we have to fight an orc or cave troll or Nazgul to pick up our chicken? And I hear with a 3 or 4 piece dinner, you get a lembas roll.

If only the Fellowship had known, Frodo and Sam needn't have made the arduous trek to Mount Doom to dispose of the One Ring in the Fire. All they needed to do was walk into their local crispy chicken outlet and toss the thing into the fat fryer. The pimply kids in the back would have been a pushover compared to Sauron and his minions.