Greetings, Earth slime:

We Vogons are getting ready to build another bypass. However, you lucky slimes, this time it will not be necessary for us to destroy your entire ugly little planet. New technology has made it possible for us to build the bypass in the form of a tunnel through the planet. This tunnel will be five of your miles wide. Its point of origin will be in the desert area of what you call "Australia". Its point of egress will be in what you call the "United Kingdom" where a village known as "Twillingsgate" is currently situated. Residents of "Twillingsgate" are hereby duly warned that your village will cease to exist in approximately five minutes. We strongly suggest you take advantage of the remaining time to leave, pray, or put your finances in order.

We are sorry for the inconvenience.

Ha! Only kidding! No, not about the bypass. About being sorry, dumbass!

Sincerely,

Vogon High Command