Thank you Ed. I'm still confused, but no more so than is my normal state of consciousness.

They don't sound that bad to me. No more so than the packages of ramen noodles that are sold here in the US. Ramen's not bad. It's not food either. But, if you toss a scrambled egg into it you can get something approximating food.

What you UK folks need to do to develop a proper appreciation for your Pot Noodles is this:

Book a flight from wherever you are to Atlanta, Georgia. When you arrive in Atlanta, hire a car and drive south from the airport on Interstate Highway 85 and exit at Flat Shoals Road. You will immediately see a yellow building with the words "Waffle House" on it. Go into the Waffle House and order a large serving of grits. Eat your grits, pay your bill, drive back to the airport and catch a flight back to the UK. Once home, you can eat your Pot Noodles with a new appreciation. Yes, there are other substances masquerading as food that are actually worse.

(Did you notice the very cool way in which I said, "hire a car" instead of "rent a car"? Learning how to talk with you blokes, I am. Is that right? "Blokes"? You do call yourselves "blokes", don't you?)