Bloody 'ell! This is one daft 'fread isn't it? I likes it. I fink Keef Richards ought to be made a Knight of the Realm wivout delay, merely for survivin' all these years wiv so much substance abuse and general mayhem. 'E's a right ripper, Keef is, and a credit to the nation! I fink all the Stones ought to be knighted, and Bill Wyman too becos 'e 'ad more sexual partners than even Brian Jones ('oo ought to be knighted postchumously).

This 'ere bugger Khandu sounds like a right entertainin' king to me, as would keep Britain's press fully occupied if 'e was king in England. 'E's obviously crackers. This is desirable in a king. It makes for good press. Besides, we English 'ave always 'ad an appreciation for eccentricity.

- Albert McSwiggins, sometime Gardener and political analist