Fat Freddie walked out of Elmo's office after tossing him out the window to find the Baboon lieutenant he had nearly strangled still cowering in the corner. "So," Freddie snarled, "ya see what I did t' yer boss an' ya kin betcher neon magenta ass I'd do it t' you in a heartbeat. Now, what I wanna know is where's th' human? You know th' one I'm talkin' about. Th' jeweler guy. The one that his wife thinks is dead."

"Oh, him!" whimpered the Baboon, "He's in the basement. Elmo said t' keep 'im there until he wuz able t' run down some private dick Chimp named Chongo. Then we wuz gonna do the guy an' frame this Chongo chump fer th' job."

"Well," said Fat Freddie while lifting the baboon off the floor by his already damaged neck, "don't just sit there blabberin'! Take me to him!" The now totally terrified Baboon led Freddie down two flights of stairs into a dark underground chamber. At one end of the room was a single wooden door to which the Baboon walked while pulling a key from his pocket. He opened the door, took a quick peek inside and motioned for Fat Freddie to enter.

The room was a twelve-foot by twelve-foot cell with no furnishings but an old Army cot and a slop jar. It was lit by a single naked 60 watt bulb in an overhead socket. On the cot sat a man of indeterminate age. He may have been middle-aged or may have still been quite young, but many days with neither a razor nor a bath made the matter a bit uncertain. He looked up at the huge Chimp and Fat Freddie spoke to him.

"You must be Lenny Frizell, yeah?" Freddie asked, to which the man merely nodded an afirmative. "Well, they calls me Fat Freddie. And before ya start askin', no, I don't have a cat. I don't even like cats. In fact, I useta really like t' do mean things t' cats, but that wuz before I got this job I have now where I get t' be mean t' Baboons instead. It's lots more fun than cats. Anyway, it's good t' see yer alive, though I'm not really surprised 'cause these sorry-ass Baboons'd never knock off a human widdout someone else aroun' t' pin th' blame on. I've been sent t' try 'n straighten this mess up, so, howzabout you tell me what happened here."

Frizell looked uncertainly at Freddie but then seemed to think, "Aw hell! What've I got to lose?", relaxed, and began to tell his story.

" It all started about a month ago. I have a little jewelry store where I mostly do engraving an' repairs an' such. If it's still aroun' in fifty years I'll probably be sellin' a helluva lotta watch batteries. Anyway, one day this Rhesus comes in, says he's broke up with his girlfriend an' wants t' see if I can change th' initials on an ID bracelet. While we're talkin' he casually pulls a white envelope outta his pocket, and says, 'Ya be innersted in these?' I open it up and there's about a thousand carats of uncut diamonds. 'Naw, man,' I tell 'im, 'I'm just a small-time guy. I don't know nuthin' about sellin' bulk diamonds.' So th' Rhesus looks at me an' says, 'But you know somebody that does, doncha?' Then I remember hearin' rumors about this buncha Baboons that'll fence anything, so I tell th' guy I'll look into it. He says he'll check back with me th' next day an' leaves."

"So' that afternoon I come over to this place here an' get introduced to some guy named Elmo. Elmo says, 'Sure! Bring 'em on. We'll work it out.' Then, next day the Rhesus comes back in, leaves the diamonds and I bring 'em back over here t' Elmo after work. He's lookin' at 'em an' we're just about t' strike a deal when th' phone rings. Elmo picks it up an' starts talkin' t' some guy about boats and bills of lading and stowaway monkeys and bananas and gettin' real worked up. Then, all of a sudden he looks at me, slaps himself on the head and says, 'Holy shit! I gotta quit drinkin' so much so early. I totally forgot your human ass was sittin' there. Oh shit! This won't do! You heard everything, didn't ya?' Then he rings a bell on his desk an' two Baboon goons come in an' Elmo says, 'He's heard too much. Take 'im to the basement until we can figger out what t' do with 'im.' I been down here ever since. Ya know what's funny about th' whole thing? I don't even have any idea what th' hell they were talkin' about."

Fat Freddie took a few moments to absorb Frizell's story, then nodded and smiled down at the human. "Well," he said, "I got some good news an' some bad news. Th' good news is you probly ain't gonna die. Th' bad news is you're gonna have t' stay here in this hole until we get this situation straightened up. But I'll see that you get a wash basin an' a razor an' a change of clothes 'cause, man, you stink worse than these damned Baboons."

After giving instructions on Frizell's care to the maltreated Baboon lieutenant (who would have been given a name if the author had known he was gonna hang around so damned long), Freddie found his own way out of the compound. Once back on the street he hailed a taxicab, opened its door and jumped in the back.

"Where to, Mack?" asked the driver, a young Proboscis monkey.

Freddie dug in his pocket for Mrs. Frizell's address. "6715 North Elm Lane. Izzat far?"

The driver turned and leaned over the seat while pulling a two-foot length of lead pipe from the seat beside his right leg. "Nope." he replied as the pipe connected with Fat Freddie's temple. The last thing Freddie remembered as he drifted into unconsciousnass was the driver saying, "But it don't matter 'cause you won't be goin' there anyways, chump."