Bobert's Christmas Story:

(For those of you who like short posts, forget it...)

The year was, oh, like 1982 and my parents were coming from Kansas City, Mo. to spend Christmas with me and my first wife, Sheila.

I hadn't seen them in over 5 years and so I was really excited about them coming and wanted everything to be, ahhh, perfect. I was living in Richmond, Va. at the time in a wonderfull house with a central forier and had the joint all decorated and feeling much like Christmas.

The turkey was on the back porch thawing and every room in the house was impeckably decorated and, well, we were ready...

Right?

Well, Christmas morning rolled around and I figured that the turkey on the back porch was sufficiently thawed for cookin' so....

"Arrrggghhhhh! Where's the turkey? I left it on the back porch just last night to thaw and it's, like, gone!?!?!?!?...."

I mean, like who would steal a danged turkey from someone's back porch? And, ahhh, my parents are gonna be here in 5 hours and Iz got me a stolen turkey....

Danged, Part #28,746, which falls right behind my oold VW gettin' a flat tire the night before at a party over on the other side of town but that;s a different story..

So, I'm off in my VW bus to try to find another turkey on Christmas Day. Well I drove that poor ol' VW bus all over Richmnond obly to find one store after another either closed or turkey-less...

But, when I was about to give up I came accross the last store and not only were they open but thay had 2 or 3 turkeys left, All frozen, of course. But I bought one and headed back home with the turkey on the floorboard of my VW bus under the heater (like a big haha) trying to unfreeze the thing.

About 3 blocks from home I noticed a large white thing on the side of the road and upon getting closer determined that it was indeed the turkey that was last seen on, ahhhh, my danged back porch... So I pulled over, threw the poor thing in then back of the VW bus and headed home with 2 turkeys...

Well, when I got hoome I examined the "side of the road" turkey and found that there were a *few* dog teeth marks and holes in the white plastic covering but, unlike the turkey under thre VW bus heater, it was thawed...

So, we cooked it....

My parents arrived and all was well and then it was time fir Christmas dinner and that turkey was the best I ever ate. Something about a dog helping in the tenderizin', I guess...

After dinner and desert, and after my parents saying just how wonderfull everything was, I looked at Sheila and we both broke out in laughter. My poor folks was wonderin' just what was going on, I'm sure. So we told 'em...

Now we had everyone laughin' until the tears just ran down everyobe's faces...

There are times in one's life when one questions or has doubts about God and there are times when those doubts are laid to rest... That Christmas, the doubts were laid to rest..

Ahhhhh, I hate to throw a side bar into the mix but... the dog that stole this turkey was a neighbors dog, Tayloe. He was a pain in the butt and a few months later was taken off by his owners to live somw 15 miles away.... But, he found his way back to our house several months later and lived out the remaining 7 years with us...

Merry Christmas, Praise be to the Lord...

Bobert