jOhn, just equip yourself with enough whelks to have a tasty, if a bit of a chewy meal or two, give a thoughtful gift of cockles, mussels, winkles and scallops to your loved ones and ignore the worst excesses of the Christmas binge that cause you such obvious disquiet.

Peace jOhn. Have a happy Christmas and a preposterous 20049.

With love

Oaklet Shellfish PLC