(Posted in the Help Forum while the Cat was Down):

From: Haruo
Date: 26-Dec-03 - 11:00 PM

Well, what I wanted to do was post the lyrics to "Here Comes Menopause" I had recently queried about:

Here are the lyrics as posted in a Hepatitis C discussion forum (URL: http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Hepatitis/messages/C35752-25.html and scroll down a ways):

"HERE COMES MENOPAUSE"
(Sung to the tune of "Here comes Santa Claus")
Note: song originally sung and perhaps written by Cahal Dunne:
See cahaldunne.com

Here comes menopause,
Here comes menopause,
Right down menopause lane.
Up with the blankets,
Down with the blankets,
Hot flashes night and day.
Who's the stranger screaming at me,
standing in my house.
No one ever told me
P M S meant PUNISH MY SPOUSE.

"Here comes menopause,
I love menopause
Here comes menopause
whoopee! menopause" *
     *(sung by ladies chorus in backround)
It's hormonal, not eternal
It's the change of life.
Spare me all your medical bull,
Just give me back my wife.
She's plucking – shaving—waxing
Like she's never done before.
I'm sharing all her prozac now
Cause life's just one big bore.

"Here comes menopause
Kegel exercises
Here comes menopause
(Peed my pantyhose)"*
     *(sung by ladies in backround)
Why is menopause
not called womenpause
HEY it's not our fault.
She wants a backrub,
I need whiskey
We're like sugar and salt.
They say someday she'll be back,
Just like she was before.
But sex has long gone out the window,
Old age is at the door.

**"Here comes menopause,
Here comes menopause,
Right down menopause lane.
Up with the blankets,
Down with the blankets,
Hot flashes night and day.
Who's the stranger screaming at me,
Standing in my house.
No one ever told me
P M S meant PUNISH MY SPOUSE."
     **(This final section sung in unison by men's chorus.)

The " * " (beginning second and third stanza) could all be:

Here comes menopause,
Here comes menopause,
Right down menopause lane.

Kim

Thanks, Kim, whoever you are.

Haruo