I will keep my concern over what is said of me in fair England in reasonable perspective, and will not offer anyone the opportunity to strike me with my own sword.

If King Wenceslas proposes a social call to a miserable peasant's hut a good league hence, on a night when the frost is cruel, and carrying a load of pine logs, I will deny knowledge of where the peasant lives.

If the ship I work on sinks, and its owners point out that the loss is fully covered by insurance and that it had twenty years of wear and tear and financial depreciation anyway, I will acknowledge the good sense in what they say.

I will touch Suzanne's perfect body with more than just my mind.

I will tell my former true love just what he can do with his cambric shirt without a seam or fine needlework.

If in the course of lowering a barrel of bricks I am struck and injured repeatedly by the barrel, by the pulley, by falling bricks, and by the ground, I will not write to my employer asking him to excuse my absence. The letter my employer receives will be from my attorney.

I will not break things off with a friend just because he got a little crazy once and tried to touch the sun.