The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #65446 Message #1082285
Posted By: Jerry Rasmussen
30-Dec-03 - 08:32 AM
Thread Name: BS: A Beautiful Gift
Subject: RE: BS: A Beautiful Gift
Thanks for the wonderful message, KT. It is a beautiful gift, in itself.
Now, if you talk about the greatest gift we can give, it is very simple. The gift to give to the man or woman who has "everything."
Yourself.
Over the years, some of the greatest gifts I've received have been people: Art Thieme (who many of you know) and Pat Conte (a wonderful musician and raconteur who lives on Lon Gisland.) For many years, we kept up a correspondence that carried me through the darkest days of my life. And I believe that I gave something in return. I've been reading a wonderful book recently that talks about building community, and fellowship. In order to do that you need honesty (and I'll share a quote from the thread on Gargoyle: "Love without honesty is sentimentality: Honesty without love is cruelty.")You also need humility (another great quote: "Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it's thinking of yourself less.") You need frequency (Art and Pat and I shared letters three or four times a week,) and you need sympathy.
The beautiful thing about being a "gift" to someone else, is that you can be a gift no matter how poor you are (as KT has shown us in her message;)no matter how confused or depressed you are; even if you believe you are worthless and have nothing to give.
For a couple of months, my wife and I went to visit a woman who was in a psychiatric ward. I know what it is like to reach a point where you can't go on. Been there. When I'd talk to the woman, our eyes would lock onto each other and there was no subterfuge, no "chit-chat." There was a connection between two souls. Those visits had what the author of the book I'm reading calls "Authenticity." We all know what Authenticity is. It's more than honesty. And it is powerful. It is at the heart of caring about, and loving each other. That is something that we all can give. The woman we visited gave it to us, even though she felt she had no reason to live... and certainly nothing to give. I looked her in the eye and told her that in six months, she would come up to me and tell me how beautiful her life is.
At the time when I told her that, the doctors had to keep her so heavily medicated that there were times when we couldn't even see her. Now, six or seven weeks later, she is home, her smile could light up Madison Square Garden and she's starting to do volunteer work. It's not that she doesn't have bad days, but she is healing. And she's still got 4 and a half months to go... :-)
Everyone can be a gift. Even our troubled, often cruel friend Gargoyle.
And this thread is a gift to all of us, from all of us.