As it's Christmas :)
FIRST CHRISTMAS JOKE OF THE SEASON
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each
possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He
flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates", Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells".

Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates. "
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and
finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just
what do those symbolize?"
The man replied, "They're Carols
..............

George Bush was at Buckingham Palace during his State visit taking tea with the Queen: "Ma'am, I'm thinking maybe as President that I should change the way America is referred to - I thought about maybe calling it a Kingdom?"
Queen: "Well, that wouldn't be possible because Kingdoms have to have a King as Head of State and you're not a King".

Dubya thought for a bit: "How about a Principality - could I call the US a Prinicipality?"
Queen: "Again, no Mr Bush ... a Principality has a Prince as Head of State"
Dubya: "Well, mebbe an Empire - I could call it an Empire!"
Queen: "Empires have an Emperor in charge .. so you couldn't call it an empire. IN fact" She said in a queenly manner, " I think under the circumstances the United States is best referred to as a country"