"Hello, Joint Task Force HQ? I want to report an almanac...yes, an almanac. I couldn't tell the date but I think it was one of them New England Farmer almanacs -- who'lda thought -- yeah, with the yellow cover, and the sun and moon on it? That kind. What? Crime? No, I didn't see no crime, just tellin' ya about the goddamn terrorist with the almanac!! Who? Thaddeus James, that's who!! He wuz readin' it right out in the outhouse this morning. I peeked through the cracks and saw it!! The smell alone was enough to be a weapon of mice destruction, you bet!! He musta felt guilty about it too, cuz he was tearing off them pages and dropping them in the hole. You guys better move in on him pretty quick...he's posing as a neighbor 'round here, pretending to be an American farmer!! Betcha his widder would sign that land sale I wanted...oh, nothin', nothin...just that almanac. You better get over here..."