I fought you would like to know wot's been 'appenin' in Twillingsgate. Well...
I am proud to report that I am back workin' at Rutledge 'Ouse fully reinstated in me official capacity as gardener.
Mr Winston Wellington-Jones and Captain Nigel West 'ave agreed to a cessation of 'ostilities...I love that frase...cessation of 'ostilities. It means they ain't gonna kill each other for the time bein' and they even went out and 'ad a drink togever while plannin' bat'le strat'egy. The Jaguar wot belonged to Miss Pruella Tat'tle, our local gossip communist, some'ow ended upside down in a bog not far from 'ere! Isn't that strange? I expect some local lads got drunk and took it for a joyride. Miss Tat'tle is fit to be tied. As for Ms Rutledge, she 'as decided to spend New Years in London for a change, where it's nice and quiet.
I am not permitted to say more about the mat'ter. I wish all of you the best in 2004! Bot'toms up!