Why, Malcolm, old man. How awful I'm certain that you will prevail, however. Certainly too bad about the kilt, but I'd guess that it didn't harm your, ah, sporran.

The usual resident of that gaol did you no harm, did they? Those French buggers can be awfully indecent, and an upstanding Englishman must often use all of his authority to deal with those immoral miscreants.

Sorry that you couldn't have been in England during the Holidays. They were quite, quite delightful.