I used to deal with complaints. As a food facility and food inspector, people would bring us problem foods. One time I closely inspected the 'bug' somebody found in her bread and bit it in half. Sometimes, bread from the previous loaf doesn't come out of the pan, sticks to the next loaf and gets more brown. It was a pretty rude thing for me to do - she nearly fainted - but while I instantly regretted the momentary anguish it caused her, it was funny.

Someone once called and left a LONG anonymous message on our answering machine, calling into question the practices of a food facility. What finally cracked me up was her description of what they were calling 'chicken'. Well it was chicken (we inspected it before the restaurant ever saw it) - it never chased a mouse in its life, but when we called the place to investigate, it seems someone recently got fired and was most likely getting even. The message was funny as hell (although not meant to be), and we kept it on the machine for a few weeks.