The pressure mounts. You can cut the tension in the thread with a knife. Several 'catters appear to be restraining themselves through sheer force of will - who will be the first to crack, who among us will open the floodgates and unleash that first gush, nay, torrent of words, that prime and primal post, the post that will live in infamy, the poster of which must lurk in ignominy...

Not me.
I've got to pee.
I've got to pee so bad
I wish I had
A port-a-potty