The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #1092279
Posted By: Little Hawk
13-Jan-04 - 07:45 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
And that brings tae mind the dreadful tale of Haggis McCracken, a great strapping lad frae Iniskerin, wha wis minding some sheep ane cauld nicth oot in the craggy heather. Twas bit'erly cauld that nicht. Haggis couldnae find shelter frae the howling wind. Nae a nook or a cranny could he find whit would provide room enow fer a Highland Scot tae shelter in. Then Haggis had a wee idea. He thocht maybe tae start a fire wi' a bit of dry heather, and in it tae put a goodly supply of sheep fat whit wis saved frae the last slaughtering. Well, the fire started up strong and bright but unfortunately Haggis moved a lit'le wee bit tae close and his sporran caught fire! I need nae tell ye whit happened next. (But I'll tell ye anyway.) He tried tae beat oot the fire and it rapidly spread tae his kilt! He ran frantically aboot in the heather beating at the flaming kilt and sporran wi' both hands, and in doing so severely bruised his willie, whit wis badly burnt in any case! Then he had tae face the crowning shame of limping home wi'oot his sheep, which had all stood aroond and laughed at him and then run off. It seems they had had experiences wi' Haggis's willie in the past, and bore him nae sympathy whitsoever...

Not only wis Haggis shamed before his sheep and the whole community...he had tae spend the next 3 months recovering in a Glasgow sanitorium wi' 15 clinically depressed nuns frae a nearby convent. The poor lad wis never quite the same again.