I try and turn these calls into a positive - just for a laugh.

Telsol - could I speak to Mr John Gray please.

Me, in an agitated voice - Ummm-er-ummmm, he can't come to the phone right now he - he - aw shit, there's blood going everywhere! I didn't mean to hit him that hard but he wouldn't stop belittling me. Oh geez, what am I going to do - he's stopped breathing. I gotta ,gotta .................( and hang up )

Sometimes the phone rings right away but I don't answer it of course. Let them think they phoned a murder scene.
A couple of times the cops have arrived about 30 minutes later. They ask who I am and I tell them. Then they ask if they can have a look through the house - no problems. They leave shaking their heads, and it gives the neighbours something to talk about.
I didn't make a hoax phone call, someone called me.

JG/FME