I reckon it must be that uvver geezer wot yor goin on abart, coz I nevva ad a duel wiv no-one. Where I come from, if you 'ave a bundle and lose you don't usually get well - yer sort of ends up recooperatin' a foot or two underneath Rainham Marshes.

Me mate Dave showed me a picture wot he took of you at that foreign place up norf where 'e went ter sing larst year - way up the coast past Southend and even Clacton - yer quite a cuddly girl - a bit like a younger version of Big Bertha. I always likes birds wiv a bit of flesh on 'em - me old boss Ronnie only liked 'em skinny an 'is bruvver Reg didn't fancy birds at all. As I said before - if yer fancy a bit of a bash - I know a nice little boozer off Mile End Road wiv quite a classy caf just round the corner - and then we could go back to my room at the 'ome to try some duets - if yer know wot I mean.