Yet another case of rampant consumerism! And exactly what was wrong with your good old dependable analog widget? Probably nothing, right? You just had to have the "latest thing", didn't you? Well, let me tell you something. Those old analog widgets would last practically forever with just a little bit of normal maintenance, but these newfangled digital things.... Let's just say that you better not get too fond of it because it's going to last about a month longer than the manufacturer's warranty period. Then you're going to have to buy a new one. Forget about getting it repaired. Digital widgets are just like condoms - it costs a lot more to get a broken one repaired than to just buy a new one.

Well, I, for one, am not going to go there! I plan on keeping my good old analog widget until it either falls apart or falls off. You can call me a Luddite if you want, but some things are just worth standing your ground for. Anyway, analog widgets never smoke!