Oh weel dae i mind in the days o lang syne
When ah was a laddie sae wee
If ever I gang tae dae anything wrang
Ma mither would lecture tae me
She'd say tae me laddie, stay away frae the wimmin
Ye'll rue it the day ye begun
And ah never thought twice aboot takkin advice
For two heeds are better than one

But me bein young all ah wanted was fun,
So the first thing ah looked for's a wife
Ah looked for a tart wi' a wee warm heart
Tae sew on ma buttons for life
Ah called her ma plum, and ma wee currant bun
And Ah tickled her under her chin
She said tae me Pat, get your hond oot o' that
Man you'll rue it the day ye begin

Las Saturday night. Ah got such a fright
Ah nearly jumped oot o' ma skin
For as sure as I'm here ma wee wife ah declare
She gave me a present o' twins
Said I tae her Jean, tell me what dae ye mean
I'ts a hell of a thing that ye've done!
But she shouted aloud Man ye ought tae be proud'
Cos two heeds are better than one.

Heard from Robin Hall & Jim McGregor, Glasgow Street Songs