(Only understandable to Irish Catters in its present form: translate for local conditions.)

The war is going on in Bosnia and refugees are rushed all over Europe. One little Bosnian kid is in Limerick, and he rings his ma at home.

"Ma," he says, "I played a football match for the school!"

"Son, your sister has been raped. I have no time for this."

"But Ma, I scored the winning goal!"

"Your brother has been stabbed. Don't talk to me about goals."

"But Ma, I scored a *hat trick*!"

"Your father has been raped *and* shot. Leave me alone."

"But Ma, it's not *my* fault!"

"It was you that wanted to move to Limerick."