"...and I'll be your waiter tonight and my name is Cindy Smithers if you need anything!!"

(They don't tell you what their name is if you DON'T need anything, but they make sure to come back when you don't, and bubble out with "How IS everything??" or even worse, "How are WE doing here, folks??". The obvious answer is "I'm doing fine -- I just saved ten bucks on your tip!" but you never SAY that!! :>) )

A