telemarketers invariably begin with "how are you today?"...which one lady defeats by telling them!...."oh, you wouldn't believe...my sciatica is acting up, and my indigestion is worse..and I think that my gall bladder is going to have to come out....."...she says it works everytime...they just say 'excuse me' and hang up

as to the instant confession or pre-paid sin-card...there is a joke about a Rabbi being asked to sub for a priest at confession..("it's dark in here they'll never know it's not me, and I'll be back in 30 minutes")...the priest gives a demo..(girl comes in and confesses to having had sex with 2 guys...gets 10 OF's and 20 HM's..etc..)....so the Rabbi sits down...and wouldn't you know it, another girl comes in...confesses to having had sex last week...."how many times?" asks the Rabbi. "just once, Father". "well, go out and do it once more...we're having a 2 for 1 deal today"...