What incredible messages of sharing and support. I love Mudcat!

RR, that seems like a lot to deal with all at once. I am glad and we are honoured that you have shared and asked for input. Thank you.

I find grief terrifying, at times. It confronts me at the oddest moments and brings to a full stop. Partly I think because of what Sins said about it forcing our own mortality on us; and partly because it is just so damn sad. At those times, I despair of my heart ever being healed, both physically and emotionally. I have gone through the grief of losing close family members, including my mom, but not of a partner nor close friends, yet.

This may seem trivial because it involves grief over persons who are still alive, but the other grief, the kind which really terrifies me, is that of thinking I may never see my far-flung children again. That's when I know I am getting a wee bit over the top and need to have a tremendously dramatic cry, then pick up the pieces and make myself do something...usually I write.

One thing I've found very helpful throughout any loss or any highly emotional experience, is to write a letter to each of the persons involved, including my own "higher self." I then put the letters away and let the thoughts go. A few days later, I may get them out and read them again. If it feels right, I then burn them in a releasing ritual. I find it reassures the mind and heart of communication with all involved.

For questions about the "other side" and the actual experience of death, one of the books I is From My World to Yours written in 1977 by Jasper Swain, a man who lost his teenage son in a car wreck in South Africa. His son came through and told him to write the book. It can be of great comfort to anyone who has lost someone, esp. in an abrupt and seemingly violent way. what really helped Mr. Swain was the fact that his son said he and his friends, who were also killed, were taken out of their bodies just before the point of impact, so that they did not feel all of the horrible pain, etc. Swain was very much the skeptic, a lawyer, who didn't believe any anything like this before the book came about through interesting events. It is a good book.

love you,

kat