Rustic Rebel, you probably don't even want to hear this now, but the terrible tearing pain does go away.

You want some help on what to do. The best thing I can suggest is that you find someone who needs your help, perhaps by volunteering in a homeless shelter or doing some work in a battered spouses' refuge.

That's one of the three or four things that ease the pain. The others: walking in the mountains, swimming in the sea, eating with friends, meditation, singing.

If you don't know any meditation techniques, here's one that someone taught me when I was under great pressure and it helped a lot. Sit comfortably with your eyes closed and breathe deeply. Now, breathe in; form the word or the figure One in your mind. Breathe out. Breathe in. form Two in your mind - this can be 2, in fancy or plain typeface, the word 'two' - whatever comes to you. Breathe out. Breathe in: Three. Breathe out.

Go on - first one to three, then back down to one; then one to six, and back down; then one to nine, and back down; one to three again, back down, one to six, back down; one to nine, back down.

As you do this, your breathing will gradually slow and deepen, and you'll become aware of the frantic chattering in your mind and the tension in your muscles. Let it go - don't force it, just let it drift in and out and go.

I think this is called 'Zazen'. It saved my life. I hope it can help you. Warm thoughts going your way.