Sadness and grief are very natural emotions at the loss of anything or anyone we enjoy. They are the balance to the intense pleasure we feel at and in their presence.

We need the processes of grieving that you are going through for many physical, psychological and spiritual reasons, so go with the flow, let it happen. You can't short-circuit it or pretend its not happening and your grief is the salutation to your friends as well.
If we love greatly we grieve greatly - they deserve both our love and our intense sadness.
Physically, we release natural tranquilisers from the brain by our tears, not enough to stop the grief but crying often makes us tired - and sleep is healing.

There are stages of grief and often it will take 12 months or longer to come to terms with a loss. That does not mean you stop grieving but you learn to live with it as a controllable emotion.

It is also, frankly, a learning process for when we too die. To many its a comfort to know that others will honour us with their tears and heartache because that is their proof of how they loved us - and we all want to be loved.

When people say 'Don't grieve for me' it doesn't make sense, grief is as natural as the joy they gave us.

One of the most important stages of grief is when you can truly look back on all the good things with not one whit of regret and sorrow.

We can't do this too soon, nor pretend that we're ready for it when we're not. Nor should we ever listen to those who say 'you should be over it by now' - No, each takes his own time, his own path to acceptance.

On that day we look back and instead of saying we are miserable about the death of our friends, we can honestly say that we are happy and priviliged that we had so much of their wonderful lives.

Lynda
largelyhappy@hotmail.com