My sister's grandson who is three is having a blast with all types of rhythm instruments: gourd rattles, bongo drums, that ratchety thing you run a stick up and down on, bells, and others. I think your smaller dumbek would be fine. I am sure the idigenous people of the Middle East make them available to their children at any age. (BTW: I have a wonderful cd called Rhythmic Essence: The Art of the Dumbek by R.A. Fish; really love it!)

Good advice up above....don't worry and structure it. It will come naturally to you. Take a look at the Mudcat for Kids for songs. Bet has been doing "here is thumbkin" "eensy weensy spider" "little bunny foofoo" and many, many more with her grandson and he loves them. She drove from Colorado to California and back with him this summer and kept him entertained by singing and teaching him songs.

Erica is gonna love her Grand Dude!

kat