I raised 3 sons, on my own for the most part, from the time I was nineteen. Now that they're grown and gone, I'm discovering for the first time in my life the joys of living alone. I've never before been able to do whatever, go wherever, watch whatever (the remote is MINE now!), sing, dance play eat or be however I feel like in the moment!   I've never before brought home a paycheque without having all of it .. and more ... accounted for before I even cashed it. I've never before had such a quiet clean home that even stays that way longer than 10 minutes (although I have discovered that I DO create quite the mess all on my own, after all those years of thinking the only ones I picked up after were "them").

I have the time and space and peace and quiet to do alot of reading, contemplating, "inner work" -- and I've found such wonderful company and inspiration listening to that "small still voice within". How could I even hear it before, during all those noisy busy years? It's wonderful to discover who I really am, above and beyond the roles I've played for others.

It has it's drawbacks too, like no-one around to help with heavy yard-work, no-one to check in on you when you're sick. But I'm learning to let go of my pride and independence and ask friends and neighbours for help when I really need to. And it's heartwarming to see how much people really do enjoy being of service to others, especially in emergencies.

It's funny -- my opposite-sex childhood friends that would drop by every so often for a visit while I was married, (and in so doing, rock the "marriage-boat" quite a bit) are the ones who are STILL around and most happy to help me out with the repairs and heavy work. On the other hand, my "mate(s)" who promised to love and protect and look after me forever? HA!!! So, I've discovered that in the long run, cultivating friendships is far more valuable and rewarding than taking vows. AT least, that's my experience.

As for the future, I suppose I could spend a LOT of time worrying about all the concerns mentioned above. But instead, I train myself to be grateful for every single blessing in my life, and to stay in the here and now. These affirmations are VERY helpful when I find myself going to that "worry place" ---

I love myself, and so I live and love totally in the here and now, for I know the present moment is the point of power".

I am a powerful and dynamic woman! I handle all of my affairs with love, with wisdom, and with ease"

Today is one the best days of my life! Everything I need comes to me, and everything I need to know is revealed to me. Everything in my life always works out to my highest good.

And so it is. All is well in my world."

(with gratitude to Louise Hay, from her book "You Can Heal Your Life"),

I've been using those affirmations, and others, faithfully like mantras whenever negative thoughts would come up for about 2 years now. They are finally feeling like the truth these days. I AM changing, and I love it!

But I'm sure after the novelty of the single life wears off, I'll be ready to try "community living" again. I like the idea of a Mudcat "retirement home!"

Great thread ... thanks to all for sharing your stories! It's wonderful to know I'm "not alone" after all!   ;-)

daylia