Hi RR,
I have said this on this site before, but grief is a process which ends in joy, as hard as it is to accept that now. When my father died, I was in shock, then came the time when I'd reach for the phone to call him, and then, the point when instead of reaching for the phone, I'd know in my heart what his advice would be, and at that point came the joy of knowing that my father was completely alive in me. I still miss him, I missed being able to speak to him about visiting the ruins of the family castle, burned the year he was born, but he was there with me, very activly in my heart as I wandered through the ruins. It is a process that ends in joy, because after the grief their place in your life becomes a permanent part of you.
George Fox, the founder of the Quaker faith, once said that a friend who has died is only as far from us as a friend in another land.
The active listening you employed when you played together, is still there, hear him as you play and he is still with you.
Yours in the light
Larry