Reb
I haven't ben hit so hard nor so suddenly as you. You can't have my thoughts on how to deal with it without the sympathy because my heart resonates (empathy is sometimes a terrible gift).

What can I say that hasn't already been said. open your heart and share your grief with your other friends who are going through this as well. Share your memories of the good times and listen as others share their memories as well. Each is a gift that we can give each other and each is a way in which the departed continue on with us.

Go to a store specializing in candles and oil lamps. Purchase a candle or lamp that your heart tells you is the right one. Put it in the windowsill and light it in the evenings to let their spirits know you are thinking of them and as a light to guide them home to you.