The principle differences and similarities between accordions and dirty underwear:

1) They both stink, but you can wash underwear.

2) Perverts collect dirty underwear. Only sick disgusting people collect accordions.

3) Dirty underwear are only offensive to those within smelling range. Accordions are offensive to anyone within hundreds of yards.

4) I would much rather play backup for three fiddlers wearing dirty underwear than three accordion players wearing clean underwear.

5) If you are wearing dirty underwear, you can blame the smell on the dog farting. If you are playing the accordion you can blame the sound on the dog farting.

6) If you throw a pair of really dirty underwear against the refrigerator, they'll stick. If you throw an accordion against the refrigerator, it'll probably just dent the regrigerator.

7) It is much easier to get dirty underwear out of the crack of your butt than it is to get an accordion out of the crack of your butt.

8) Dirty underwear and accordions are both extremely cheesey.

9) If you're wearing dirty underwear in a bar, you reduce your chances of getting lucky to 10%. If you're playing an accordion in a bar, you reduce your chances of getting lucky to 0%.

10) Pawn shops are full of accordions, but not dirty underwear. Why? Because most people would rather have dirty underwear than an accordion.