Jane Frier, I was in the audience at that TV show. It was one of the McCalmans series from the BBC studios in Glasgow and indeed Noel Murphy sang the song, the first time I'd ever heard it. I don't remember if he actually claimed to be the writer, but my impression was that he (Murphy) did. I know Pat Cooksey's name was not mentioned. (I saw the show twice - once in the studio and then on TV -I was ready with my recorder to get the words!).
Shimbo - I described the "Third Rail" procedure earlier.
Blackcatter - the poppy seed thing is true. (And I suppose that some time after you swallow them they do become "poopy" seeds!) A company for whom I worked flew about 20 new sales recruits into headquarters for a week of training and orientation. Included was a (urine) drug test. Unfortunately, the breakfast caterer had provided bread rolls with some kind of seeds on them and all the test results came back positive for heroin. We had to fly all the recruits back in a couple of weeks later to repeat the drug test.