People at Monsanto: The future President is just kidding with those remarks. They were taken out of context and misrepresented--it's something that happens between the brain and the computer keyboard. Dianavan, a woman can live on bread alone, but not a man. "Man cannot live by bread alone." But, we need Monsanto's bread. Where the hell is the future VP?!

We need the religious vote. Dianavan, say something religious, but make it noncommittal so that even the atheists will feel welcome. Words to the effect that "Dogs work in mysterious ways." That includes the animal lovers, too. That's a big group. We don't wanna lose them before we get their votes.

I need to know my official title, and will I get a hat?